I Should Be Writing

1. I am not disturbed by the fact that I am 30, except for when I discover that children whom I remember being born are now, in fact, getting married.
2. I live in North Carolina, where the wind comes sweeping down the plain.
3. I moved here from northern California, where the wind comes sweeping down the plain.
4. I grew up in Oklahoma, where the wind actually does come sweeping down the plain.
5. I have a degree in English that I do not use.
6. Sometimes I knit things. Very poorly.
7. Dave Matthews Band brings me an unending supply of happy.
8. The only reason I tolerate the existence of summer is because summer is DMB tour season.
9. One of the things on my bukkit list is to spend a summer following DMB.
10. Another things on my bukkit list is to play flute and/or piccolo in an orchestra during a performance of The Nutcracker.
11. I have an obsession with Africa.
12. Eastern Africa.
13. I also have an obsession with WWII and the Holocaust.
14. In my free time (and when I’m not being lazy), I study genocide and its impact on nations.
15. I took two years of German in high school but only remember how to count.
16. I can read/understand very basic French and only know how to say a few phrases. I spend a lot of time repeating “avec fromage” in my head.
17. I love cheese.
18. I really do.
19. Fromage!
20. I can discern simple French because of my two semesters of Spanish.
21. I have forgotten a shameful amount of my Spanish.
22. I want to gain fluency in French and Arabic so I can move to Europe and work for an aid/relief/human rights organization.
23. I will never move to Europe because it’s too far away from my mom and dad and brother.
24. If I did move there, I’d move to the Faroe Islands or The Netherlands.
25. I’d probably smoke myself to death in the first week.
26. I really love DMB.
27. I have very vivid memories of things I have never done.
28. I believe in God.
29. I believe in ghosts and spirits.
30. I believe in alternate planes of existence.
31. I believe in spiritual and other-worldly connections.
32. My spiritual gifts are intercession and mercy.
33. I’m done talking crazy Christian talk for a bit.
34. I’m very liberal.
35. I believe that God loves everyone, including Osama and Karl Rove.
36. Unfortunately, I also believe that I should love them, too.
37. I am misanthropic.
38. This makes it hard to love 95% of the world’s population.
39. I’m exploring becoming Quaker.
40. I’m a pacifist.
41. I’m all for gay marriage.
42. Sometimes I wish I could just become a lesbian.
43. I am woefully attracted to men.
44. One time I fell in love with a boy who had blue eyes.
45. I prefer men with brown eyes and five o’clock shadows.
46. When I was little, chest hair grossed me out and I would only drool over men with smooth, smooth chests.
47. Then I realized that wait a minute, some hairy chests are just hot.
48. Dave Matthews, for example.
49. Raul Bova, for another example.
50. Even though I’m not so good at it, I love photography.
51. I shoot with a Canon Power Shot S3 IS.
52. I lust after the Canon Digital Rebel XTi. Silver.
53. I like silver electronics.
54. I like silver cars, too.
55. I like cars.
56. My dream car is a Jaguar XR convertible in gun metal with black leather interior.
57. I’d also take an Audi in any flavor.
58. Or a McLaren.
59. The only car race worth watching is a Formula 1 race.
60. In my family, chicane means “oh shit.”
61. If you Google my first and last name, you’ll find that there is a porn star with my first and last name.
62. My name is not sexy.
63. One could say that I am addicted to the internetowebosphere.
64. I met most of my friends online.
65. I met my best friend online.
66. She is the most awesome person ever.
67. I met my ex-fiance online.
68. He’s a tool.
69. SEX.
70. I have many freckles.
71. There is a boy I fancy.
72. I like his butt and fancy hair.
73. I also like his eyes.
74. And his stubble.
75. And his scowl.
76. Did I mention his butt?
77. I was born!
78. I should list interesting facts here.
79. My best friend was born!
80. I’m German, Irish, Swiss, Dutch, Danish, and English.
81. This means I’m a double-drunk peaceful pot-smoker with bad teeth and a tendency to avenge my father’s death.
82. I have a thing for Jack Kerouac.
83. Jack Kerouac and David Thewlis-as-writer are strikingly similar in my mind.